


Exotic Foods Does Give Us an Exotic Experience, Anyways

by Cerulean_Gaze



Category: Gintama
Genre: It's just your usual Amanto shit, It's just your usual gay couple shit anyways, M/M, Maybe with tentacles???, PWP, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-01 07:34:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_Gaze/pseuds/Cerulean_Gaze
Summary: Hijikata and Gintoki + Amanto shits = Mess.That's just the equation to have your typical, exotic story.(or where the two idiots had the weirdest experience they had— writer approved.)
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

_"Welcome to Octi-licious Squid-shi Stall!"_

The quiet establishment of the said stall was just suspiciously stood between the once abandoned alleyway. With people rarely passing by on the said eerie place, the cheery greeting of the octopus-headed Amanto says the otherwise of how enthusiastic the place could be.

Hijikata wasn't surprised that Gintoki could find such place, anyway.

_"Yorozuya,"_ He whispered out to the perm that was nursing his own food, warily watching the humming Amanto as it cooks its offered dishes.

"Mhm?"

_"Are you fucking sure this is a normal stall?"_

_"Op courshe,"_ Gintoki spat as he stuffed another squid ball in his mouth. "Tat wude've bween hwere pur mothve 'wedi."

"I don't understand a single fuck on your words," Hijikata groaned while burying his face on his palm. "Just finished that damn thing before speaking!"

Gintoki just scoffed, sending few sticky entities towards Hijikata that immediately hissed from disgust.

_"You know,"_ Gintoki gulped the rest of the food. "This fella has been here for months already. So yeah, no need to turn the alarms on your doggie mind."

"The hell you're calling a doggie?" Hijikata glared as he wiped his face with his clothes' sleeve. "And this is just damn suspicious at all!"

The sudden slick of the Amanto's purple limb in front of their counter startled Hijikata from his seat. Gintoki's eyes just sparkled as soon as another serving of plates slid down from the slime-y limb.

"Here's our special dish for these two gentlemen!" The octopus-headed Amanto announced with glee. "Please enjoy the food!"

Hijikata's eye just twitched and Gintoki slid the plates of squid and octopus balls to each one for them.

_"What the hell is this?!"_ Hijikata yelled-whispered close to Gintoki. _"It literally cooks its own race just to sell them as a food?!"_

"Come on," Gintoki grinned and simply shoved a squid ball inside Hijikata's mouth. "Would I even bother calling our date in here if I found this place shady? This is a nice place, you know?"

As if the Amanto just decided to open its ears, a soft, gurgled-like giggle just emitted from its nozzle mouth.

"Oh my, is the gentleman you're with concerned with my species?" The Amanto clasped its two tentacled hands in admiration. "That's such a sweet man as you do, Ginbou-san!"

Although Hijikata wasn't supposed to eat shit at any of the Amanto's dishes, the sudden burst of flavor of the dish burned down to his taste buds. He just blinked and slowly chewed the squid ball, only gaping directly to the Amanto staring at them with wonder.

“What do you say about that, Oogushi-kun? ~” Gintoki sneered as he watched the other man’s astounded expression.

Then, a moment of silence aroused after a loud gulp.

_“T-This…”_ Hijikata stuttered.

_‘This tasted delicious!!’_

“Araa? Don’t you like the taste, Oogushi-san?” The Amanto asked in concern.

_“This is not even fair!”_ Hijikata yelled as he slammed his palms on the counter. _“It doesn’t even have mayonnaise on it!”_

“That’s the fucking thing you would firstly say to that food?!” Gintoki spat out in irritation, now getting ticked as a bottle of mayonnaise was slammed open to the dish.

The flustered expression Hijikata was oblivious had was enough for the Amanto to have its answer. Still smitten to the fact of tasting such delicious dish, he just poured all of the mayonnaise with all of his might without noticing the relieved purr (gurgle) of the Amanto.

“Hoh? So this is also the man you’ve been talking about, Ginbou-san!” The Amanto chirped in delight.

“Yeah, that idiot was the one who never eats anything without that disgusting thing,” Gintoki scoffed while rolling his eyes.

“The hell you are calling disgusting?!” Hijikata snapped as he took a spoonful of mayo-filled dish, shoving it right in his mouth. _“Maryoney esh ta getest op ol!”_

As Gintoki spat back to Hijikata with some spots of mayonnaise on his face, the Amanto just giggled with its other tentacles curling up in delight— swaying like a cat’s tail that caught both of the arguing men’s attention.

“Aw, how adorable you two can get! ~” The Amanto sighed as its glossy skin flushed into warm pink. “It just made my _hearts _beat in synchronization!”

“How many hearts do you even have?!” Gintoki screeched as he picked up the heated pace of their bickering.

“They have three,” Hijikata deadpanned upon gulping the dish inside his mouth. “Guess all you just know is about eating a damn food.”

“What do you even know about them?! All you just did earlier is to doubt Takoka-chan’s art of delicacy!”

_“What do you even know about delicacy?!”_

“Ah, I won’t blame Oogushi-san’s suspicion to my dish,” The Amanto nodded with one of its tentacles under its short ones. “After all, it does look like I am cooking one of my kinds… _that was actually is!_”

Hijikata froze up along with Gintoki shaking from the statement.

_“What the fuck is this?! _This is more suspicious than it is!” Hijikata stood up in alarm, reaching for his badge from his chest. “I won’t just let this go without che—“

“Idiot! Damn idiot this guy could be!” Gintoki burst out in laughter, followed by Takoka’s giggle of amusement.

“Don’t worry, Oogushi-kun. It doesn’t sound bad as it is,” Takoka smiled while waving two of its tentacles as a reassurance. “It’s our tradition of giving gratitude to anyone, and also a tradition of sacrificing one’s limb and eating them once every month as a pride of being a part of Mollusca Genera!”

“What a weird tradition you have for the second part!” Hijikata sweated profusely.

“Haha! ~ It was a compliment for me to take!” Takoka chittered with a delicate poke in Hijikata’s forehead. “It also seems like you enjoyed my cook, after all ~”

Flustered from the statement, Hijikata just let himself stare in disbelief as Gintoki keeps his shit-eating grin on his face.

_“I’ll be right back! ~”_

As soon as Takoka turned back to its cooking stall, Hijikata turned his stare at Gintoki that was watching the said Amanto from afar. The sight just made Hijikata irked so he nudged the entranced male to his side, earning a surprised flinch from Gintoki.

“Why didn’t ‘ya even told me anything about this whole thing?!” Hijikata hissed, warily turning his attention back to his dish.

Gintoki simply huffed and took the bottle of sake from the side, simply smiling while pouring the sake into two saucers.

“For entertainment, of course ~”

“What should I even expect from you.”

The two men just took each one’s cup and had their drinks as a beginning of their night, spending their time alone from the secluded place of the stall.


	2. Chapter 2

  


  


It took several bottles before the Amanto returned from its previous place. Hijikata was still helping himself back to the dishes served to them while casually taking the sake he and Gintoki had been sharing. On the other hand, Gintoki was almost spacing out as soon as the octopus balls were the only food left on their plates. As if noticing the odd preference of Gintoki only eating squid balls, Hijikata took a piece of octopus balls left on Gintoki’s plate.

  


“Why are you only eating squid balls?” Hijikata blunted out, dipping the neglected octopus ball on the remnants of mayonnaise to his plate. “Being picky?”

  


“Shut up,” Gintoki quietly murmured while staring down to the octopus balls left on his plate. “It just didn’t feel right eating too much of it, anyway...”

  


“Araa? Not feeling well, Ginbou-san?” Takoka blinked and placed the second helpings of their order. “Did something happen?”

  


“Mhm… I just don’t feel well.”

  


“Poor boy,” Takoka cooed as it slicks its limb near Gintoki’s face, placing its clubbed end’s palm on his cheek. “You must be tiring yourself too much lately, hm?”

  


“Nah, it’s nothing,” Gintoki mumbled as his eyes fluttered from the touch, nuzzling close to the Amanto’s caring palm.

  


The sight of the two’s warm exchanges somehow struck a certain thread on Hijikata.

He coughed.

  


“Seems like you two knew each other well…?”

  


Takoka turned its attention to Hijikata while Gintoki simply opened one of his eyes to look at him.

  


“Yes, yes! This dear boy just saved me from the verge of my death a few months ago…” Takoka sighed while retrieving its arm away from Gintoki’s cheek. “I was just new on this planet so I found myself struggling with how to start building a second home at all… Ended up being lost and dried up alone on the streets.”

  


“Home?” Hijikata perked an eyebrow.

  


“Yes, home. I just want to call this place home since it reminds me of my motherland,” Takoka smiled while plating another dish. “Would it be disrespectful if I did so?”

  


“No, not really,” Hijikata shrugged and took a swig of his sake. “That guy would probably think the same.”

  


“Hah?” Gintoki slurred out from his dreamy state, turning his glazed orbs to Hijikata. “Ah, that… Why not.”

  


Somehow, Hijikata felt his heart skip a beat from the sight of Gintoki’s flustered face adorned with his bright, crimson orbs. The stupidly blown irises of the said man didn’t help Hijikata either.

  


“How lovely,” Takoka giggled and placed a bowl of glossy, rice-like grains in front of Gintoki. “This is why I love this planet so much. Having considerate folks at every corner… Sharing my only passion for this place is all I could offer as gratitude to everyone.”

  


Hijikata found himself staring at the bowl Gintoki had in front, followed by another bowl with mayonnaise on top to his front.

  


“What is this?” Hijikata asked as he picked up the said bowl, taking a spoonful of the dish served to them. Under the glorious topping, a contrasting color of Gintoki’s rice-like dish can be seen.

  


“It’s our motherland’s specialty dish— Oyyo Bowl ~!” Takoka chirped once again, mimicking the enthusiastic introduction of the food earlier. “It contains rich nutrients that highly benefit a human’s body! It has a variety of white and black, having benefits of lowering the levels and risks of having high blood sugar and long-term effects of stress respectively.”

  


“Seems like both benefits you, eh?” Hijikata mocked.

  


To his surprise, Gintoki had already finished his bowl with a satisfying burp.

  


“You probably need most of the black ones, though. Having such unbelievable temper at all,” Gintoki grumbled back while rubbing his stomach. “Damn, you’ve been spoiling me too much, aren’t ‘ya?”

  


“Am I?” Takoka chittered with delight. “Oh, it was just my way of offering my greatest gratitude of your kindness, dear!”

  


Hijikata just rolled his eyes and ate the dish resting on his palm, taking his time of inspecting the said food as his taste buds relished the familiar savory flavor of it. After finishing his food, Hijikata took another bottle of sake as the other bottle had been resting next to Gintoki— like a silent declaration of their disrupted contest. Although there was a familiar sensation of buzz in his mind, there was no way he would cut his way of being outwitted by Gintoki in terms of their usual drinking contest. It was like a personal contest to both of them every time they drink that they didn’t even have to declare it to each other anymore. Of course, Gintoki didn’t back out and held the sake with that implied expression he had on his face.

  


“Not giving up, eh ~?” Gintoki softly spoke, knee shifting close to Hijikata’s.

  


“Says the one who’s been drinking only a few cups from the shared bottles earlier,” Hijikata provoked with a smirk, nudging his knee in response.

  


“I’m just being considerate of you, ne ~” Gintoki hummed and took the rim of the bottle near to his lips. “Letting ‘ya have that head start so you could at least keep up with me.”

  


Frowning from the said statement, Hijikata just glared at the other and immediately downed the single bottle of sake in one go, somehow surprising Gintoki out of his drunken state. Hijikata had already known the consequence of having his throat burn with that amount of sake, but seeing that astounded face Gintoki just made was enough as a satisfying return.

  


“The fuck is that? Trying to impress me, eh?” Gintoki mockingly grinned as he caught a waft of mixed alcohol and cigarette scent from the other.

  


“’tis not!” Hijikata slurred out as a hiccup escaped from his lips, immediately receiving the hit of the alcohol’s effect that made him threw his hands on his face. “Hell, ‘ya even look drunker than me with that damn blushin’ face you have.”

  


“You say?! Just _you_ wa—“ Gintoki stuttered the halfway.

  


Before Hijikata could even spat back, Gintoki suddenly gagged and dropped the bottle from his hand, throwing both of his palms to his mouth in reflexes.

  


Both Hijikata and Takoka got startled from the sudden crash of the bottle and only found Gintoki stumbled down on the stall’s side, puking aloud. As if he was snapped out from the drunken state, Hijikata immediately went on the other’s side and frowned from the sight of the whitish bile.

  


“You idiot— Did you just literally ate a lot?!” Hijikata groaned while placing his palm on Gintoki’s back. “Like— _that much?!_”

  


“Oh my,” Takoka gasped after seeing the same sight of the huge amount of barf on the ground, visibly sweating. _“I-I didn’t intend to harm Gin—“_

  


A loud whimper from Gintoki cut off Takoka’s apology along with Hijikata’s sharp glance to the Amanto. It simply stared and silently watched the slurred movements of the puking man.

  


“_Fuck_, I’ll just get this stupid perm home already,” Hijikata sighed while pulling Gintoki up from the ground with his arm. “I’ll just send a bill to you tomorrow.”

  


“Oh, no need!” Takoka exclaimed in surprise. “Please do take care of Gintoki-san _tonight~_!”

  


“… Huh? _That didn’t make sense_,” Hijikata peered to the Amanto, holding Gintoki from his shoulders with his other arm wrapping on the other’s waist. “We’ll leave.”

  


“Take care!” Takoka simply chimed and waved a single limb for them. “Please do take care of _my darling!_”

  


With a nudging thought on his mind, Hijikata simply turned and carried Gintoki on his way.

  


_‘… The fuck is with that Amanto.’_

As soon as the two men left, the Amanto simply smiled along with its gleaming eyes and turned off the light of the stall.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmm im seriously dead rn.
> 
> hope you enjoy, tho. :)))

**Author's Note:**

> a quick short story that i just had while running around the plot bunny's land.
> 
> i might regret this later but who knows. 'tis a rush one for a breathtaker. :)))


End file.
